Wala pang isnag segudo ang lumiupas, nilasap ng mukha ng guro yung blackboard eraser. Hinagis itong pabalik ni itay sa mukha niya. Tumahimik ang klase.

Galit nag alit siyang nilapitan ng guro. Tumayo ang hayskul na si Itay at sinabi sa guro:

“nandito po kami para mag-aral at hindi para batuhion niyo ng pambura!”

Guro:

“bakit, may naintindihan k aba sa mga tinuturo ko? Sige, ipaliwanag mo nga ang…”

Itay:

“eh napakalayo naming sa blackboard paano naminyan maiintindihan? Sa tingin niyo nakakapag-aral kami ng mabuti dito?”

Na-challenge ang guro. Iniba ang kaayusan ng silid aralan at hinila ang de-gulong na blackboard sa gitna ng classroom sabay nagsimula muling magturo. Buong period puro si Itay lang ang tinatanong niya.

***

Napag-uapan naming ito ni itay kanina sa hapag habang napagkekwentuhan naming yung nakakalunos na lagay ng edukasyon sa Pinas lalo na sa mag prubinsiya. Yun bang kung wala daw mga corrupt na nilalang sa pamahalaan at yung mag dapat paglaanan ng pera ng bayan at mga pera para sa bayan eh napupunta talaga sa dapat paglaanan, magiging maayos talagang tiyak ang edukasyon sa Pilipinas.

Ang tigas talaga ng ulo mo. Petsa na? Ilang lingo na akong walang matinong tulog. Tama na kasi ang pagjajakol ng mga ideya at mga problemang dumadalaw at madalas eh naninirahan na sa isipan mo, Samjuan. Maayos din ang lahat. Sa takdang panahon. Sa ngayon, magpahinga ka na, magdasal, matulog at may pasok ka na naman sa bodegasina mamaya.

Gudlak nga pala s apagsugal na namanggagaiwn niyong mag-anak. Sana di manggagantso ang ateng kikilalanin ninyo mamaya. Dahil kung is ana naman siyang bulaang puta, ay, sumapin siya sampu ng lahat ng kanyang kalahi-lahian. Joke lang. Tama na yan. Wag na sabing jakulin ang mga makukulit at mapagpumilit na mga problema eh. Tulog na. Ok?

insensitive si ate

kayo na ang humusga.

facebook message ni ate (click! click!)

multiply ni ate (click! click!)

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-Heto ang ilan sa mga paraang naipon ni Ginoong Manolo Quezon (CLICK! CLICK!)

-Paraan sa pagtulong at pagdodonate mula sa TXTPOWER. Mga kabayang OFWs na may spare na pwedeng itulong pwedeng magpadala via PAYPAL (CLICK! CLICK!)

-Relief goods for typhoon victims being accepted by CDRC at 72-A Times St., West Triangle, QC. Tel 9299820/22

-For donations to Red Cross please text RED <space> amount to 2899 (Globe) and 4483 (SMART). The service only accepts the following amounts: P10, P25, P50 and P100. Please donate now.

Si Kristine Reyes daw ito, stranded sa Bubong

Tanginang yan, ayaw pang tumigil sa kakaasa.

A US teenager killed his mother and wounded his father in revenge after they took away his violent computer game, a judge has ruled.

(Tamang pang-aliw)
SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy… .

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

(And this one I added myself)

A PHILIPPINE CORPORATION

You don’t even have cows because you can’t afford them.